I am the world champion of procrastination.
I swear, I need a to-do list every day so I can get stuff done that I want to get done. I can, quite literally, mess around all day, with an end result that nothing has been accomplished for the whole, entire, day, or week, or month.
Some of it is pure laziness.
Some if it is avoidance. Yeah, there's stuff I need to do, that I don't want to do - so I mess around, until it's too late to do it. Every day.
Case in point?
Doctor's Appointment.
With the fact that I now have a full-time, paying job with actual medical benefits comes the fact that I really should get myself a doctor's appointment and get a physical. I haven't had one in at least 5 years. I've been procrastinating this since September 2004, which was when I actually got the job, that gave me the benefits, etc.
Why don't I want to do this? Cause I don't want to hear what they'll say, although, realistically, I already know.
What'll the doctor say?
"You need to lose weight, you're in the dangerously overweight area." - Like this is a big newsflash.
"Your cholesterol is high." - Ditto the above.
So, the question becomes, WHY am I avoiding this?? It's not like I don't already know these things, or that I'm fooling everyone into thinking I'm really skinny when I'm not.
Sometimes, I really feel frustrated with myself.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Sunday, August 7, 2005
Fred
There's a guy who shows up to every single one of the open water swims that I've done through Pacific Masters. I mean, every one. His name is Fred. Now, I don't know Fred personally, but I know who he is. I think anyone who's done a couple of open water swims through Pacific Masters knows who Fred is.
He's the guy who comes in last. Every time.
He's been there at Lake Berryessa, every year I've done that swim. He's there at Lake Del Valle. This weekend, he was there at Lake Donner. If he wasn't there something would be missing. And his name would be Fred. When I saw Fred there, I knew I could do the swim. Why? Cause if Fred was doing it, then I could do it.
Mostly everyone will be standing around finished with the swim, and we'll be waiting for the last few swimmers to make it into the shore. You check on the last kayacker (who is bringing up the rear) and you know that person will be escorting Fred. He's got a distinctive stroke, and everyone will say, oh, here comes Fred. When Fred comes out of the water - he gets the most applause of all and people will rush to help him, if he looks like he needs it.
Fred is shaky on his pins - and usually someone will offer to carry his stuff for him. Fred is brown as a berry, with sticky out ears, and a nice face. Fred wraps his feet in duct tape for swimming, I don't know why. It's quite obvious that Fred loves open water swimming, just for the sake of swimming, cause Fred is not out there breaking any speed records.
Fred looks like he's in his late 50's or 60's, but in reality Fred is 80+ years old. Fred is totally cool.
Maybe one day, I can help him with his stuff.
He's the guy who comes in last. Every time.
He's been there at Lake Berryessa, every year I've done that swim. He's there at Lake Del Valle. This weekend, he was there at Lake Donner. If he wasn't there something would be missing. And his name would be Fred. When I saw Fred there, I knew I could do the swim. Why? Cause if Fred was doing it, then I could do it.
Mostly everyone will be standing around finished with the swim, and we'll be waiting for the last few swimmers to make it into the shore. You check on the last kayacker (who is bringing up the rear) and you know that person will be escorting Fred. He's got a distinctive stroke, and everyone will say, oh, here comes Fred. When Fred comes out of the water - he gets the most applause of all and people will rush to help him, if he looks like he needs it.
Fred is shaky on his pins - and usually someone will offer to carry his stuff for him. Fred is brown as a berry, with sticky out ears, and a nice face. Fred wraps his feet in duct tape for swimming, I don't know why. It's quite obvious that Fred loves open water swimming, just for the sake of swimming, cause Fred is not out there breaking any speed records.
Fred looks like he's in his late 50's or 60's, but in reality Fred is 80+ years old. Fred is totally cool.
Maybe one day, I can help him with his stuff.
Saturday, August 6, 2005
Donner Open Water Swim
Today I swam Donner Lake. Not just across the lake. Oh no. Down the longest part of the lake. I swam it end to end. 2.7 miles worth of swimming. I still cannot quite believe that I did it.
This was an organized swim put on by the Sierra Nevada Masters and it was cool. How many times in your life do you get to jump into a body of water, disregard the boats and just swim? How many people can say they've done something like that?
The last part of this swim was difficult for me, as my arms were so tired that freestyle was a real challenge. I reverted to breaststroke a lot. I admit to thoughts of quitting during the swim - but mostly it was a meditative experience. Me, the water, the sun, the shore. Swimming at it's best.
This was an organized swim put on by the Sierra Nevada Masters and it was cool. How many times in your life do you get to jump into a body of water, disregard the boats and just swim? How many people can say they've done something like that?
The last part of this swim was difficult for me, as my arms were so tired that freestyle was a real challenge. I reverted to breaststroke a lot. I admit to thoughts of quitting during the swim - but mostly it was a meditative experience. Me, the water, the sun, the shore. Swimming at it's best.
Friday, August 5, 2005
Officially Complete
Today I went over to Cal State and handed in the rest of the paperwork and forms so that the State of California will recognize me as an official teacher.
I taught last year, but on an "emergency credential" (i.e. I had to take some coursework to prove that I can actually teach) and now, once the Credentialing Agency sends me the certificate, I'll be an official holder of a Preliminary Credential. That will probably be in six months, based on their speedy turn around time for my prior credentials.
And, yeah, you read that right. I'm still not fully certified, I'm only Preliminary. I still need to take 5 more classes, plus go through the You-Are-A-New-Teacher-So-We-Are-Going-To-Support-You-Whether-You-Like-It-Or-Not-Program. This whole process will take another two years.
Teaching is the only profession that I know of that is so low paid while at the same time requiring so much certification. Based on what I made before this (Project Management at a software firm) and the amount of work I did - I should be making at least double what I make as a teacher. Plus all of these added required classes are not paid for by the district or the state. Oh no. That all comes out of your pocket, and it does add up to quite a bit, especially when you compare it to the amount you make as a full-time teacher.
I am looking for another job, and this is one of the reasons. After only one year, I'm sick of working so hard, for such a pittance of a salary.
I taught last year, but on an "emergency credential" (i.e. I had to take some coursework to prove that I can actually teach) and now, once the Credentialing Agency sends me the certificate, I'll be an official holder of a Preliminary Credential. That will probably be in six months, based on their speedy turn around time for my prior credentials.
And, yeah, you read that right. I'm still not fully certified, I'm only Preliminary. I still need to take 5 more classes, plus go through the You-Are-A-New-Teacher-So-We-Are-Going-To-Support-You-Whether-You-Like-It-Or-Not-Program. This whole process will take another two years.
Teaching is the only profession that I know of that is so low paid while at the same time requiring so much certification. Based on what I made before this (Project Management at a software firm) and the amount of work I did - I should be making at least double what I make as a teacher. Plus all of these added required classes are not paid for by the district or the state. Oh no. That all comes out of your pocket, and it does add up to quite a bit, especially when you compare it to the amount you make as a full-time teacher.
I am looking for another job, and this is one of the reasons. After only one year, I'm sick of working so hard, for such a pittance of a salary.
Thursday, August 4, 2005
Things that are Impossible to Open
Today I needed to open a bottle of weed killer. You might not think that this is such a big deal, but you would be wrong.
Why is it that products are coming more and more with impossible to open sealed caps?
I take the lid off the bottle. Underneath the lid is one of those sealed paper things that are ostensibly supposed to make sure that you know your product has not been tampered with. It's easy to tell, because NO ONE could tamper with it as the da** things are impossible to remove. There is nowhere to get a grip on them, and they appear to be integrated to the top of the bottle. After spending some time trying to pry it open with my fingernails (this did not work, btw) I then decided to punch a hole in it with a screwdriver. Why a screwdriver? Cause it's Weedkiller - and I'm not going to use a knife - I might then use the knife to eat with and poison myself. So. After punching a hole in the top with the screwdriver, I now have a paper capped bottle with a screw-driver shaped hole in the top.
I could now use my fingers to remove the rest of the cap. Which I did. Unfortunately, during this process I did get some amount of weedkiller on my hands, as it was impossible to remove the cap otherwise.
After this whole, extremely frustrating, experience, I then assuaged my feelings by going out and spraying the stuff on some poor unsuspecting plants, whose only crime was to be growing where I didn't want them to grow.
I've washed my hands really well of course, but I have to wonder if this is some deep laid plot on the part of the companies to cause maximum irritation in their customers.
... In the boardroom ...
"Heh, heh - hey, I know, let's start putting on caps that are impossible to remove! We'll call it a security measure!"
Everyone sitting around the table laughs insanely and passes the motion.
This is the real reason we have these things plastered onto otherwise innocently usable products.
Why is it that products are coming more and more with impossible to open sealed caps?
I take the lid off the bottle. Underneath the lid is one of those sealed paper things that are ostensibly supposed to make sure that you know your product has not been tampered with. It's easy to tell, because NO ONE could tamper with it as the da** things are impossible to remove. There is nowhere to get a grip on them, and they appear to be integrated to the top of the bottle. After spending some time trying to pry it open with my fingernails (this did not work, btw) I then decided to punch a hole in it with a screwdriver. Why a screwdriver? Cause it's Weedkiller - and I'm not going to use a knife - I might then use the knife to eat with and poison myself. So. After punching a hole in the top with the screwdriver, I now have a paper capped bottle with a screw-driver shaped hole in the top.
I could now use my fingers to remove the rest of the cap. Which I did. Unfortunately, during this process I did get some amount of weedkiller on my hands, as it was impossible to remove the cap otherwise.
After this whole, extremely frustrating, experience, I then assuaged my feelings by going out and spraying the stuff on some poor unsuspecting plants, whose only crime was to be growing where I didn't want them to grow.
I've washed my hands really well of course, but I have to wonder if this is some deep laid plot on the part of the companies to cause maximum irritation in their customers.
... In the boardroom ...
"Heh, heh - hey, I know, let's start putting on caps that are impossible to remove! We'll call it a security measure!"
Everyone sitting around the table laughs insanely and passes the motion.
This is the real reason we have these things plastered onto otherwise innocently usable products.
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
Missing my kids
Last year, July 1, is when custody officially changed over to my ex-husband, so that he is now the primary custodial parent. He has the kids 75% of the time and I have them 25%. It's been a year, and it's still hard. It was so not my choice, it was their choice.
This year, I had the kids for the month of July. It was great. We were all together for a week, then my son went to scout camp for a week, which let me hang out with my daughter, then my daughter left for girls' camp while my son returned from scout camp, which let me hang out with him for a week. I really enjoyed those two weeks where I got to just spend time with each of them separately. I felt like I was really building my relationship with the kids.
Then we went to Utah to visit the rest of the family for a week. It was a crazy week, but it was also a lot of fun. The big thing we did (I and the kids) was to read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in the space of that one week. I started reading the books to them with the first one, and that was the big thing that they wanted me to do with them this summer before they went back to their Dad's house.
They left yesterday. I won't see them for a month.
I miss them.
This year, I had the kids for the month of July. It was great. We were all together for a week, then my son went to scout camp for a week, which let me hang out with my daughter, then my daughter left for girls' camp while my son returned from scout camp, which let me hang out with him for a week. I really enjoyed those two weeks where I got to just spend time with each of them separately. I felt like I was really building my relationship with the kids.
Then we went to Utah to visit the rest of the family for a week. It was a crazy week, but it was also a lot of fun. The big thing we did (I and the kids) was to read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in the space of that one week. I started reading the books to them with the first one, and that was the big thing that they wanted me to do with them this summer before they went back to their Dad's house.
They left yesterday. I won't see them for a month.
I miss them.
Monday, August 1, 2005
Back from Vacation
I just got back from a week of vacation.
It was great, but now I feel like I need some recovery from the vacation! We (I and the kids) went to Utah for our annual summer family visit. It was so much fun. Well, we didn't do anything really spectacular, just caught up with each other, did some activities and so on.
My parents' house was packed with 14 grandkids, 5 kids + various spouses at certain points in time. It's a good thing they have a big house. We had a tent trailer set up outside so some of the older kids slept out there on a rotating basis (girls night then boys night.) My kids are old enough (13 and 15) that I don't really worry about what they are doing, i.e. no disciplinary moments for me. I didn't go to bed before midnight on any night, so I'm definitely short on sleep, but it was more than worth it.
We played games - sometimes until 4:30 am, the kids got together and played games almost every day, my son was in his element, he loves to play games with other people. He plays online games a lot but there is something very satisfying about the interaction between a board game (if it's a good one) and the people playing the game.
We spent a lot of time talking and joking around with each other. It was great to have everyone together that hasn't actually happened for a while, due to other commitments.
There was lots of really fattening stuff to eat, cookies, brownies, a 5 lb box of chocolates, and since my sister is addicted to these chocolate donuts that you can only buy in Utah, we had a lot of those too.
We also spent a lot of time working on the Craft of the Year, which this year happened to be tie-dye. So, a lot of time was spent, tying, dying, and checking out the tie-dyed items once they were finished. It's a lot of work which is why we don't do it every year, but it was a lot of fun, and everything turned out cool, even if not exactly as expected.
It was great, but now I feel like I need some recovery from the vacation! We (I and the kids) went to Utah for our annual summer family visit. It was so much fun. Well, we didn't do anything really spectacular, just caught up with each other, did some activities and so on.
My parents' house was packed with 14 grandkids, 5 kids + various spouses at certain points in time. It's a good thing they have a big house. We had a tent trailer set up outside so some of the older kids slept out there on a rotating basis (girls night then boys night.) My kids are old enough (13 and 15) that I don't really worry about what they are doing, i.e. no disciplinary moments for me. I didn't go to bed before midnight on any night, so I'm definitely short on sleep, but it was more than worth it.
We played games - sometimes until 4:30 am, the kids got together and played games almost every day, my son was in his element, he loves to play games with other people. He plays online games a lot but there is something very satisfying about the interaction between a board game (if it's a good one) and the people playing the game.
We spent a lot of time talking and joking around with each other. It was great to have everyone together that hasn't actually happened for a while, due to other commitments.
There was lots of really fattening stuff to eat, cookies, brownies, a 5 lb box of chocolates, and since my sister is addicted to these chocolate donuts that you can only buy in Utah, we had a lot of those too.
We also spent a lot of time working on the Craft of the Year, which this year happened to be tie-dye. So, a lot of time was spent, tying, dying, and checking out the tie-dyed items once they were finished. It's a lot of work which is why we don't do it every year, but it was a lot of fun, and everything turned out cool, even if not exactly as expected.
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